Yesterday it took police intervention, but I was finally able to retrieve two maintenance checks from my former attorney's office in New City, and checking my overdrawn checking account this morning was pleased to see said account was/is now again solvent. Wish that all the angst and turmoil that is my day to day life could be put behind me, but seems opposing forces involved in my situation at the moment have no desire whatsoever to find accord through compromise and negotiation...looking at that reality, as much as I wish it could happen, do not see myself being divorced before 2014 comes to an end. All I can do is work toward returning some semblance of normalcy to my life, work at trying to find some consistency that will allow me to escape the depression that has held me in its grip for the past several months.
The first step toward that normalcy was taken this morning...I paid the back payments on my car so that I can stop HIDING IT out of fear of repossession. Of course, November's payment is now due, so will have to search for ways to get that taken care of in the next ten days so I can avoid falling back into that cesspool of fear again come December the 1st where each night sees me searching for a new place to stash my source of transportation. Tomorrow morning will pay October and November's car insurance payments, bring both my cable and cell phone bills up to a point where service termination is no longer a fear for a few weeks. That is the good news...bad news is simple, once I take care of these actions, I am again almost broke if the maintenance check which is due this Friday fails to appear. It gets very tiring, and is emotionally draining to find myself on this roller coaster, living day to day in a hand to mouth existence.
Did eliminate one worry this morning...went out and got myself a EZpass that will be activated tomorrow morning. Sounds funny, but there have been times when it was all I could do to find the funds to get across the bridge for mandatory court dates. Now at least, will have a fall back, have put enough money on the pass to carry me through a few crossings of that bridge...not looking forward to a future when a new bridge ups that toll charge from its current five dollars to fourteen dollars. I mean seriously, what average worker can afford $70 a week just to cross a bridge to go to work? Welcome to America.
Yesterday was in many respects a lost day for me...spent three hours in the dentist chair getting my first new set of temporary front teeth to replace the 40 year old bridge that was crumbling more and more with each passing day. I have too go in again in three weeks for phase two. Not happy with the current new teeth, but they look better than the crumbling ones that were there before. Of course, how I am going to pay for the $32,000 worth of dental work required to reclaim my mouth and put my teeth in a state of good repair is beyond me. I just know the constant dull pain that is my mouth needs to be dealt with.
Next week I have to call my surgeon or go see a doctor about the tremendous amount of pain I am having in my right arm and shoulder since returning to work...by the end of a shift it is all I can do to drive back across the bridge so I can put it on ice. Do what you have to do to survive, even if it cripples you in the process. Hoping maybe an anti-inflammatory coupled with a pain pill might at least mitigate the pain I am enduring. If not, will just have to deal with it until I can't.
Just looked at the clock...time to go get showered and get on with what I have to get on with on this dreary dismal day in November.
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